Be At E.A.S.E With Your Feelings

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Feelings can be wonderful. Love, success, inspiration, joy, discovery, and on, and on.

Feelings can also seem like enemies. Mistrust, unhappiness, betrayal, sadness, fear, and on, and on. Negative feelings can catch us by surprise and leave us feeling overwhelmed. Managing them requires a bit of understanding, strategy, and resilience.

E.A.S.E. is a short and simple strategy for engaging with your feelings in order to be enriched by them – all of them. It will assist you in understanding your feelings, and yourself, better. Practicing this method, over time, will strengthen your resilience.

E Is For Experience

Feel the feeling – we tend to swat away or stuff down negative feelings, or, we may only give ourselves a brief moment to enjoy the positive ones. Whatever the flavor of the feeling, take an extra moment, or two, and feel it. This can be challenging since emotions pop up when they want to, not necessarily when it’s convenient for you. You may not think that you have time to hang out with emotions, a significant number of which don’t feel good. The important thing is quality over quantity. Invest in this time knowing that your life is growing richer.

A Is For Accept

Say “Yes!” to the feelings. Open your heart and mind and welcome them. Remember that they are temporary. You are not your feelings, and, you are entitled to them. Saying yes to your emotional experiences is essential to receiving the gift within them. All of our emotional experiences are telling us something we weren’t able to hear in other ways. Look your feelings square in the eye and say “Thank you!”.

S Is For Synthesize

Connect the dots. Emotions are a nonverbal language and they have essential information for us. Shift your perspective to one of a scientist exploring possibilities, instead of feeling like you are at the mercy of your emotions. Check in with yourself with these types of questions.

  • Have I had this feeling before?
  • Is it a regular visitor?
  • During what situations does it occur?
  • If it’s new, what were the circumstances?
  • What about the situation reminds me of something I need to address in my own life?
E Is For Express

Give voice to what it is that you are feeling. Follow these 2 important guidelines:

  • Use the phrase, “I am feeling angry, hurt, happy, frustrated, etc …..”
  • Avoid using, “I am angry, hurt, happy, frustrated, etc…”

When we leave out the word ‘feeling’ we are actually defining ourselves as the emotion. Over time, this leads to confusion about the true nature of our feelings. We are not them. We experience them and they are messengers. Deciphering their messages is essential to integrating and moving forward. One of the simplest ways to ‘clear the air’ with yourself is to use a journal. Use words and pictures, like a collage. Over time, you will come to know your emotions for the allies they are.


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